Communicating with a parent who has dementia can be challenging, especially when over the phone. Dementia affects memory, thinking, and social abilities severely enough to interfere with daily functioning.
Communication is more than just an exchange of words; it is a bridge that connects us to our loved ones. For those caring for or related to individuals with dementia, a phone call can become an essential link that reaffirms this bond, offers reassurance, and brings moments of joy.
Caregivers and family members can use some strategies to improve their phone conversations with a parent with dementia, including:
- Choosing the right time to call
- Starting the conversation with familiarity
- Communicating clearly
- Using patience
- Using the right tone
- Ending on a positive note
- Using technology to help
- Staying informed
Choose the Right Time to Call
Ensuring your parent is most alert and comfortable during the call can make all the difference.
Dementia can affect their cognitive function differently at various times of the day, often leading to increased confusion and agitation in the evenings—a phenomenon known as “sundowning.” Aim to schedule calls in the morning or early afternoon when they are more likely to be alert and open to conversation.
Start the Conversation with Familiarity
Recognition may not always come easily to someone with dementia. Begin each call with a warm greeting and identify yourself, even if you’re confident your parent knows your voice. Reassure them by providing context as you reminisce about familiar people, places, or experiences.
For example, you might start with, “Hi, Mom, it’s Emily. I was just remembering how we used to go for walks at the city park on Sundays.”
Communicate Clearly
When talking to someone with dementia, always speak slowly and clearly and use simple language. Complex sentences or ideas can be overwhelming. Stick to one topic at a time and ask open-ended questions, encouraging them to express themselves, like “What’s the best thing that happened today?” Be sure to listen attentively and respond with interest.
Patience Is Key
Conversations may flow slowly, and there may be long pauses as your parent searches for their words.
It’s crucial to remain patient with your parent. Avoid the temptation to speak over them or complete their sentences, which can make them feel frustrated or lose confidence in their abilities.
The Importance of Tone
How you say something is as important as what you’re saying, especially when your loved one may not understand all your words. Always speak with a tone of affection and calm, and if you notice the conversation veering into challenging territory, gently steer it back to more comforting subjects.
End Each Call on a Positive Note
End each call with optimism, leaving your parent with the feeling of being cared for and valued. You might say, “I loved talking with you, Dad. I’m looking forward to our next call.”
Technology Can Help
Those who are comfortable with technology can use video calls as a supplement to phone conversations. Apps like Skype, FaceTime, or Zoom allow your parent to see your face, which can help them recognize you more quickly and feel more connected.
We also offer virtual visits through our Bridge App, allowing you to spend time with your loved one from afar.
Stay Informed
Learning more about dementia and how it impacts your loved one can help you develop vital communication techniques. It can also help you understand their behavior, respond with more empathy, and provide better support for your loved one.
Your efforts can profoundly impact your parent and help them feel loved and supported.
Pick Up the Phone
Learning how to talk to your loved one with dementia is about more than just symptoms—it’s about honoring the person behind the disease and letting them know they are not alone. Small gestures can mean a lot—a simple phone call can significantly brighten your parent’s day. At Somerby Franklin, we focus on improving your loved one’s quality of life.
